How to Survive your next Big Change

I quit my job as an architect to pursue a full-time career as an intuitive consultant. This wasn't a change that caught me by surprise. When I finally took the leap, it was a whole year since I'd decided to make the shift. Through this long and exciting year, I'd found myself discovering new signs, reasons, and reminders of why I'd decided to change my career and why this was the right decision. So submitting my resignation letter only felt logical when I got around to it.

Yet here I was—the first Monday morning since I quit my job— tossing and turning in bed with so much on my mind.

New Beginnings, New Questions

There was no adrenaline or positive anticipation of what lay ahead. Instead, I found myself nervous, anxious, unsure, scared—my mind flooded with questions and doubts. I was in strange, unfamiliar territory. I was exploring life as a self-employed entrepreneur, and to be honest—as much as I'd prepared for this—I felt clueless that morning.

But more so, I realized that since my first day at preschool as a child, this was the first Monday I didn't have a prescribed agenda or set of expectations for the day. I was free to do whatever I wanted—on a working day!

And that choice, that responsibility was unexpectedly unnerving.

It's been fourteen years now since that restless Monday morning. The memory makes me smile.

Yet I must admit, I have had other mornings, or nights, or whole days of anxiety and questions, following a big change, a big decision pr a big leap forward.

Some have followed changes in my career, while others have been in my personal life. I've moved cities and packed bags, and I've reinvented myself many times over.

Clearly, I'm no stranger to taking a leap of faith. But to be honest, I find that it is the uncertainty and questions that follow change that are the hardest part to deal with.

The Rush of Leaping Forward

Standing up for what I believe in and making the changes—I quite enjoy that part. It's what comes after—sustaining the changes, living out what I've started, walking this new path—that poses the real challenge. For this is the time to not just seek a new life, but to create it.

Yes, this is when the doubts and the questions, the hurdles and the delays all come out in full attendance. They're there before the leap is taken, but they usually lurk around corners and hide between sentences. Now they're bold and very real, staring me straight in the eyes and daring me to prove them wrong—through words, actions, and outcomes.

Furthermore, they're never as expected—they seem to adapt and morph, making sure to press those buttons and shake things up.

Finding Your Bearings

If you think about it, where so much effort and thought goes into making a change, it's really what comes after that puts our resolve to the test. Making a change is not just about choosing a new plan or path, but also about finding your footing in that brave new world you break into. Yes, committing to that change is a big shift, a big ask—but it's how you live out this change that determines if this shift is successful at all.

Over the years, and through first-hand experience—painful, humbling, or enlightening—I've identified a few pointers that can help me—and you—survive your next big change. It isn't so much about knowing what to expect, as it is about knowing how to respond to what comes up— including the challenges and questions.

1. Focus on What's Working, Not on What Isn't

There are more than likely going to be a number of different matters drawing your attention when you take that leap. Trying to focus and work them all out together can get overwhelming.

A simple mantra I use in situations like this is "Focus on what's working." Even if it's something really small, it can help pull you through the next day, week, or month ahead—until something else gains momentum and kicks in. It could be focusing on one aspect of your new career or business, or focusing on your own wellness as you recover from a big change in your relationship status.

Identifying a productive way to invest your energies can help you build momentum and put yourself to good use—even when little is going your way. This not only helps you work with the natural pace of things, but it also keeps you in a positive and constructive mindset that can do wonders for your manifestations.

2. Give Yourself Time

It's easy to want to experience the outcomes and results that have driven us, driven our change. But it's just as easy to forget that this change has been a while in the making—it has needed time to come together and occur in your life. It, therefore, needs time to play out and for the individual pieces to fall into place.

This isn't an invitation to wait idly, but to engage and work with the natural pace of things in your situation. A leap of faith is an act of reinventing yourself and your life at some level—in many ways it's like birthing a new you. Much like a new-born baby, you too need time to find your grasp on the new energy and space you now inhabit, and to really make your way forward.

Be patient—time is a good ally to have on your side at this time.

3. Break Things Down

Doubts can be overwhelming and tricky—especially if you try to answer them as is. A handy tip to limit their impact on your mind and thoughts is to break them down into smaller questions or components.

For instance, if you've just let go of a long-time relationship and are wondering if you'll ever feel that love again—pause, and break this question down. There are so many smaller questions to answer and address before you get to the big one.

Do you feel balanced and whole in yourself? Have you forgiven and released this past energy? Are you ready for a new connection and to feel open and vulnerable again? As you're no longer the same person anymore, what do you now seek in love?

Really, there are so many other little questions to turn to first—each of these offers a stepping stone forward, helping you find the confidence and clarity that can help you take on the big guns.

4. Remind Yourself Why You're Here

All those changes and challenges can sweep you up sometimes, and it's quite normal to find your motivation flailing. In times like these, those doubts can kick in an extra notch, and you can be inclined to get anxious, emotional, or even self-destructive.

I find that turning back in time is the best way forward in such moments of crisis and questioning. Take yourself back to a time when you were miserable before you made these changes—a trigger point or experience that inspired you to leap forward in the first place.

Remembering how you felt in the "old world" can help you appreciate the "new world" you now inhabit, and the opportunities it brings you—even if most of these haven't entirely surfaced yet. The grass always looks greener on the other side, and turning back and taking a peek into your past can help break that illusion.

5. Round Up the Reinforcements

Don't be afraid to ask for help—it's always useful to have something or someone remind you that you're on track. Losing sight of the bigger picture isn't just easy, it's bound to happen when you're fielding so many questions, thoughts, and emotions all at once.

Your reinforcement could be a colleague, friend, or family member—someone you can reach out to when you're at your most vulnerable, and who can steadily reassure you of your choices and actions to date. Alternatively, if this isn't your style, you could invest in a whiteboard that you map and scribble your own ideas on—each idea reminding you of the plan at hand, even when you lose sight of them.

Also, don't forget to celebrate your wins—even the small ones. A little indulgence, a pamper session can be an effective reinforcement as you find your way uphill.

6. Embrace Reality

A strong starting point when you've made a change is this—accept that there's no going back. The next step—easy or not, like it or not—is up ahead of you, not behind you. This is a time to get creative and negotiate your way forward, instead of trying to experience the comforts of the past again.

If you can keep this simple reality in mind and allow it to guide you, it can cut away a lot of the unnecessary confusion your doubts can spring on you at this time. For if anything, the future holds infinite possibilities up ahead of you—taking a step toward it can help you access, explore, and experience these.

Making a change can be exciting and, from personal experience, extremely gratifying. You may not always end up where you thought you would, but I'm yet to regret the course my life has taken as a result of these changes and choices.

Yet I won't pretend that this is simple, straightforward, or easy. Hopefully, these six strategies can help simplify your journey, just as they have eased and boosted mine over the years, helping you discover and unravel the yet unknown facets of your own potential.